Late Night Convo

     As I sit here drinking my coffee one child in my lap I cant help but think about the almost two hour conversation I had with an old friend last night. To be honest shes not even an "old" friend. More like an old acquaintance that has now become a friend. So we just know each others childhood I suppose.

     Needless to say her and I amazingly think A LOT a like so the conversation I'm sure she didn't intend to be that long at 10:30 PM just flew by. There are things about my life I often wonder if I am doing right or acting in the right manner. I have also often wondered if my brain thinks differently then then others with need to over analyze, plan and make lists.  The conclusion I came up with by the time of hitting END was yes indeed I am doing the right thing and hell yes I do think just a little different.

     I am by no means mother of the year, I mean seriously we all have our days that we could do better as a parent. I had my year I could have done way better, but I do not dwell on this. I have decided to learn from my mistakes and move forward.

     There is one thing about me I have changed for the better, that is my priority list. As a young mom I didn't always put my child or children first. This was not due to my age, but rather due to my selfishness and unwillingness to make the necessary changes in putting someone else before myself. I am proud to say my children now and forever will always be number ONE..... The rest of the list may change with different circumstances and whats more important at the time, but my kids will always be first. This has lost me relationships in the past, I now know those were not real relationships. Three kids is a lot to take in and swallow for some people, but if you can not take me with the little munchkins and everything they bring to the table, then you also don't need any part of me, in your life. She reassured me that living and breathing them is okay, that I am a good mom for not thinking of myself first, but that its also more then okay to go do something for me sometimes. Just takes a little more planning, I cant drop things and go.

     I have also learned that no, I do not think normally, but that is okay with me. I would much rather over think and call someone to analyze a situation with me (I now know who to call) then live in the world of not knowing the possible out comes. This can be a bad, stay up all night, think to much, make the situation worse in your head problem, but, it can also prepare you for the worse, allow your brain to be ready for anything and be so happy with a good out come. I love that I am prepared and not blind when things happen. My philosophy is "prepare for the worse, hope for the best, but expect nothing".

     I'm very happy to have these questions out of my mind and very lucky to have someone who thinks like me in more ways then one that I can always call...