Becoming a mom was simply the scariest thing that has ever happened to me. Through the past 9 years I have been blessed with three amazing little girls. However they are not so little anymore. I have cried more tears for them and their life then I have my own. I have went without to make sure they go with. I have tired to count my blessings and successes more then my failures. With 6 big blue eyes (literally they have big eyes) looking up to me, not only as a mom but as the female role model, I have been forced (I thank them for this) to look at life differently and not care so much about certain things that at one time I gave WAY to much thought to.
I decided to write this letter to them, because the older I get the less I remember about the pain, fun, heart aches, drama, smiles and tears that come with being a child, kid, preteen, teen and young adult. Before I forget I want all the advice I can think of wrote down for them so they know it was the YOUNG me telling them this, not the old mom who knows nothing. So here is a letter I hope one day helps guide their life when they hit a pot hole and it knocks them off course.
To my sweet pea, lovers and boos,
Let me start with this simple statement, Life is crazy, ohhhh so crazy, please don't expect anything less then that. You three have had to grow up in many ways, much faster then you should have had to. Much of that was not in my control though some of is was and I am sorry for that. As the years go on I have realized I forget sometimes what it's like to be your age. Then when I do, I know the last thing you want is advice from your old mom. So I decided maybe if I write this closer to your age you'll be more likely to take it in. So here is a little advice from my heart to yours.
* Life is full of choices and decisions, with that always comes a consequence. So as you think through your options, also run by the consequence and remember what ever you choose is on you. No one else is to blame.
* Never be a cheater. I do think there is truth behind behind the statement "once a cheater, always a cheater", because people don't forget and it's only hard the first time. Don't cheat in school, work or on people. All that does is hurt people and yourself. Be an honest, faithful and loyal person. Be someone everyone wants rooting for them in their corner.
* As a female, your heart will break and even shatter. This will happen more then once and sometimes by people you never thought could be capable of causing you so much pain and agony. So cry and grieve that loss..! Do not bottle it inside. Then pick yourself up off the floor, put some lip gloss on and carry on with life the best way you know how.
* Every action you make effects many more people then you. Always consider other people emotions and feelings in situations. Sometimes it will change the choice and sometimes it won't. But never think you are the only one effect by your actions.
* Take the time to listen. Often we just half way listen and hear only what we want to hear, always take the time to listen to people you care about and put the effort in to read between the lines when their words are not coming out right.
* Never settle my loves, not for anyone and not for anything. Often in life we let or allow people to hurt us over and over again. Know your value and self worth. Hurting you once is enough, don't give someone the ability to do it again. Walk away and leave them or it in the dust of your happiness.
* If someone wants to walk away from you, let them, they are not worth your desire, future, love or even thought. Walking away is always easier then work, so anyone willing to take the high road isn't someone you need in your life, not for the long haul anyways.
* Always try new things. New is scary, no doubt about that, but many new things if you don't try you will wish you had. No one has time for regret in their lives, so try it....!!!
* Life is so short...!!! Smell the flowers, chase the rainbow, dance in the rain, sing out of tune, show those that you love that you love them, make lots of friends, but keep the few true good ones close to your life always.
* Make up only covers up the outside. You've already came across those stunning people who are just not pretty inside and that's not someone people really want to be around long term. Make sure you are as pretty on the inside as on the outside because that's what truely matters and brings the good people to you.
* You are never to old for dreams. Have them always so you have something to be working toward, but don't forget to live in today while in the process. Life goes by very fast, if you blink to long you may miss something important.
* There are THREE things I never want to see you become. One I have already mentioned, never become a cheater, liar or addict. Cheating only hurts people and you are WAY better then that, lies will always come out no matter how hard you try and cover them up and addictions have ruined lives of people you know. Remember that first time could be your last so DON'T take the chance. Drugs and alcohol are not your friend, they will crush those dreams I want you to hold onto forever.
* Life is a roller coaster loves. There will be ups and downs, sunny days followed by a storm. There will be laughter, tears, anger and confusion... These will happen many times in life and sometimes even in the same day over and over and over again until you think you can't breath or take one more thing. Know that you will be OKAY. Life will continue and one day you will look back and be amazed at how you made it through. God never gives you more then you can handle and he is building you by all the different things that you will go through.
To Abigail. I pray you become everything you desire. You are so smart, driven and amazingly mature, I really can't see anything standing in your way. You have a heart of gold but wear the weight of the world on your shoulders. My advice remember to be strong and stand up for what you believe in and in your opinions, but also know when to let it go, shut that mouth and just know you're right or that your opinions are different. That will take a little weight off I promise. You are an amazing, quirky, smart as heck, independent young lady and I know you can do anything you set your mind to...
To Brooklynn. You are the most loving person I know. You have retaught me the meaning of true love. You have a love for everything within you that I can only dream about having, animals, nature, people and even things. To you everything has feelings and that is a quality that can take you into so many amazing places, never lose that. However, remember not everyone wants to be touched.... Those hands my dear stay on you.... I hope by time you read this, you have learned that. Stay the sweet loving girl you are deep inside....
To Charlotte. You have more strength, courage, kindness, self discipline, understanding and acceptance then anyone I have ever known. The things you have went through in life I couldn't imagine and yet you smile the whole way through. Everyone who comes into your path leaves touched by your beauty within. Stay true to that and never listen to people who say "you can't". There is always a way..! When it is time for you to be your own advocate I know you will make all the right choices for YOU! I hope you never use your differences to get things. Use it to help people if for anything. Never lose your courage, kindness or smile my sweet child.
One day I will be old and I know between the three of you I will be in good hands. You have brought me much joy, many tears, countless sleepless nights, more smiles and laughs then I can count and most of all you have made my heart complete. I have you for such a short time and I will cherish this time so I have many memories to look back on when you spread your wings and fly. Whatever you might be going through, when you read this know.... It will be okay and the sun will shine through again... I promise... And I never make a promise I can't keep..!!
Love you to the moon
Around the stars
And back again
Momma
Sharing this makes me cry as my babies grow up. I look at them and know I am raising well rounded, opinionated, sassy and independent woman for our future.....