I KNOW I am a very "different" kind of parent. I know I have a strict routine that is not an option, as well as rules that are not made to be broken. My kids know to not say anything if it isn't nice, they understand the meaning of respect for people as well as things. They have a good understanding of consequences for unacceptable behavior.
I use to think being this way as a parent was a bad thing, overboard or maybe they were missing out on things. After paying attention to kids around me, being around more children then just mine and lengthy talks with their pediatrician, I have come to the conclusion IT'S A GREAT THING..!!!! I am not crazy after all. My children will never run this house and they may hate me now at times, but they will love me later for these few things.
1. Your mess you clean it..!
I remind them "my standard cleaning not yours". I feel people don't give their children enough credit for what they really are capable of. You make the mess you clean it. Teach them this young and save many arguments later. Believe me they are capable of cleaning up.
2. You break it, its GONE for good.
"If you do not take care of the toys you have don't expect me to replace it, or even buy you more." This is something I instilled in my girls heads really early in life. Money doesn't made from trees and they just see the spending part not so much the making of money. If your children break their toy, don't rush out and replace it, let them learn a lesson. Make them want to take care of the things they have.
3. Force them to try so they can learn.
Biggest pet peeve is parents who do everything for their kids. Tell them an hour before you have to walk out the door to get their coat on AND zip it. That is how they learn to do things. Same as wiping, reading, math, and everything in life. Try and you shall succeed. They have a school project let them do the work and over see it from a distance. Don't bail them out because one day you wont have the bail money.
4. Control screen time. (TV, Movies, Tablets, Computers, Phones and any other gadget)
My kids are electronic deprived and I wouldn't change it for the world. They get an hour or less (depends how fast they do their chores) before bed and that's it. My oldest has a nook that she READS on. They do not have tablets, phones, they cant work a DVD player, but can however work the remote. When they watch TV, they SIT AND WATCH. We don't get up, go do something come back, move around the whole time or be rowdy and loud. I don't actually have to tell them this because they are glued to the TV when its finally time. My kids know how to play for hours and use their little imaginations. I believe this is the way it should be.
5. Have an acceptable bed time and stick to it.
My kids are in bed by 8:15 pm. They don't actually WANT to bed, what kid does. They have learned however it doesn't really matter if you want to or not, its happening. I want silence and need it so their little butts are in beds. With this there has been lots of research that a bed time routine and solid good amount of sleep is needed for growing learning brains of all ages... So let their brains grow and have some you time.
6. No actually does mean no. And stop really does mean stop.
Now I have three girls, so teaching them no means no from day one was important to me from all angles. I try to refrain saying the word no but sometimes that really is all that can be said. If I say no and you ask me or someone else again you bet there is going to be a conversation followed by an extra chore as a consequence (I love giving those out, less work for me). If I say stop or your sisters say stop you need to respect the word and stop. As do I if they ask me to stop doing something such as tickling. Respecting them is also teaching them the action of respect. Monkey see Monkey do right.
7. Let them be responsible for themselves.
This year I gave my daughter an alarm clock in the second grade and told her to get up for school. She looked at me like I was crazy. (She had to be up by 6:30 am and out the door buy 7:10 am) Of course I got up also, but a few weeks into school she was up before me, dressed and ready for breakfast. She was so proud of herself and I was of her too. Responsibility is a huge thing and gives so much confidence. An alarm clock is a great opportunity for structured responsibility.
With this said my girls are far from perfect. They will be the first hold the door open for a stranger, help someone who needs it expecting nothing in return and for the most part listen (they each have their days, but don't we all). They are healthy and happy and have open minds about things. So some where in my crazy strict, put up with no lip parenting, I must be doing something right....
